Supporting and Forming Catholic Families

First Thoughts on Letter to Families: Only One Thing is Necessary- Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis

I just finished my first (of I am sure many) reading of Archbishop Hebda's Letter to Families: Only One Thing is Necessary, and I feel encouraged in our work with the Designed for Discipleship System, but also in our own journey as parents. This beautifully pastoral letter (you can read the entire thing here) writes straight to the point on the real challenges and struggles of living Catholic truths as a family in the turbulence of modern society. There was no romanticism of the trials or sugar coating of the realities that families face.

There was, however, a clear, consistent invitation for all families to come closer to Jesus. Not just by way of a what, but by a why and a how as well- making the letter deeply practical. While written primarily in a voice speaking to families who are aware of their desire for holiness, there is a lot to take away for catechetical leaders supporting families who aren't quite there yet (the main focus of the Designed for Discipleship System). A little further down, I will flesh some of those thoughts out and propose next steps for those in positions of leadership to consider this letter on a local level as you look ahead to next fall. And if this is not already clear, I do think that all in catechetical leadership should be prayerfully considering this letter regardless of where you live.

Archbishop Hebda, referencing a 2020 Angelus address of Pope Francis referencing the parable of the sower, lays out four paths that families can find themselves on: the path of distraction, rocky ground, the path of bushes and thorns, and the good soil. For each of these, Archbishop Hebda provides points of reflection for families desiring holiness to examine how their family life could reflect (or alternatively slip away from) the good soil. This is a beautiful examination for parents not only in their daily lives but in a sacramental sense. To see the beauty in the gifts of family life but also to examine where restoration might be needed. In Section II, Archbishop Hebda lays out three key practices necessary to the task of family holiness- the primacy of Jesus in daily life, aka discipleship (7); the practice of prayer, sacraments, service, and virtue (8); and the dignity of the child as a child of God (9). All I can say to this is a resounding- YES! Thank you!

Section III on sacramental marriage indirectly brings up something that I sometimes share with priests. While the catechesis of children formally begins with their baptism, it indirectly begins with the marriage of their parents. Annulments, convalidations, and the like can be a ministerial and logistical challenge, but they are also extraordinarily healing and help get rid of bushes and thorns. Normalizing marriages has a direct impact on the formation and discipleship of families and children. I have seen this fruit in the lives of families. Thank you for the attention and work that you give to this hidden ministry.

It is tempting to run through and give a summative commentary of the entire document, but I do want you to experience it for yourself first. The encouragement to walk with Mary (14-16) in our "already, but not yet reality" resonates with my own experience as a mom and as a mentor to others. The closing sections were written as direct practical suggestions for families, all of which I found helpful in a down to earth way. It will take some time to fully digest all of Archbishop Hebda's insights and my thoughts, but I anticipate this is a document I will be looking at particularly closely over the next few months as we continue in our ministry.

Before closing, I'd like to add a layer, perhaps even a cautionary tale, that might be useful for those in catechetical leadership positions. While there are families who are resolute in their desire for holiness- to stay on the good soil- there are many in our parishes who are not there yet. Particularly on the rocky ground and in the path of bushes and thorns, we have many families who are engaging with the church tangentially but not intentionally. The impulse to expect the same response while supporting Catholic families on different places on the path is understandable, but also perhaps short-sighted. Many families do not need to be presented with this document as much as they need to be accompanied through it at their own pace, continually invited deeper. Sometimes we fall into the trap of thinking it is enough to "get them in the door" or "give them good resources," but we fail to see that they lack the personal experience of joy in relationship with Jesus Christ that makes engagement with parish and family life more meaningful.

Families can be left with a sense that it's never enough- that they are never good enough for the Church. They come... and then we want more. They sign up for something... and then we want more. We need to be truly evangelical in our accompaniment in a way that they are the ones asking for more and we are simply inviting them to an appropriate aspect of discipleship as someone a little further on the path. This only happens if we allow the Holy Spirit to set the pace with each family we journey with. For those in leadership, be patient in your accompaniment. Start getting to know where your families are so that you can invite them deeper without throwing them in the deep end before they've learned to swim. Just because a particular proposed path is simple, does not mean that it is easy or quick. Supporting Catholic families on the path to discipleship is the singular great privilege of our work. When we began to formalize our system of evangelical catechesis and speak and present it more broadly, we searched for the link that would bring together what we do on our farm and through our educational consulting services. In the end, we came to this.

It all starts with family. Family farm, family business, family discipleship. Particularly restoring families as they strive to confidently and unapologetically live their lives of discipleship in the particular way that God calls them.

We aren't content, however, to merely support families who already believe what we believe, we want to invite others to join us. Archbishop Hebda's letter is going to help us and others continue to issue that invitation.